“One day Jesus had
his disciples get into a boat to go before him while he went up to a mountain
to pray alone. When night came the boat was far away because of the wind and
waves and so he walked to his disciples on the water. But when they saw him
coming they were all afraid because they thought he was a ghost. So Jesus spoke
to them and said ‘Do not be afraid, it is I’.
Peter said, ‘Lord if
it is really you command me to come to you on the water’ and Jesus answered
‘come’. So Peter got out of the boat and
walked to Jesus on the water. But when he saw the wind he became afraid and
began to sink so he cried to Jesus ‘Lord save me’. Jesus immediately reached
out and took of hold of him saying ‘You of little faith, why do you doubt?’ And
when they got into the boat the wind stopped and those in the boat worshipped
him saying ‘Truly you are the Son of God’.”
I can not tell you how many times I have heard this story. I
have always loved it and I imagine the picture of Jesus reaching for Peter from
the Children’s bibles I used to read when I was a kid. But the other day my
teammate told this story for a devotional and it completely came to life for
me. Instead of picturing Jesus reaching for Peter as he is sinking I imagine
Peter getting out of the boat and walking with a big grin on his face to Jesus
who is waiting for him (I know the bible doesn’t say he is grinning but he’s
walking on water and I think if I walked on water I would be grinning)
I think for the first time I realize how much I am like
Peter and it’s because of this story.
Peter has these really big moments where he has this insane boldness. While
the other disciples are in the boat afraid of the man they think is the ghost
Peter says tell me to come to you and then he just gets out of the boat and
goes. I feel like he is always having these moments where he is so bold in his
faith. Before the death of Jesus, Peter tells Jesus that he will not fall away from Jesus when the
others do even if it means dying. He is so bold, but they are usually just
these moments of insane boldness and then he falls, hard. He becomes afraid because
of the wind and waves and maybe he can’t see Jesus anymore and that’s when he
begins to sink. When Jesus is being questioned near His death Peter gets asked
if he is the one who knew Jesus and he denies Jesus three times, he sinks quickly
after he had proclaimed with so much boldness that he would not fall away. Peter just has moments of courage and we get to see those and then we always see the moments when he loses his courage.
I feel like I have similar moments in my life… I have these
moments of boldness where I step out of the boat and literally am running to
Jesus and then I see a wave and I fall, hard and quick. As a team we were
talking about how this time in South Asia has felt similar to this, we had
these moments of insane boldness as we got off the boat, or the plane in our
case. For me the boldness was the moments I left my families embraced and
stepped onto the plane. It was a moment of boldness, I had my eyes set on Jesus
and He had commanded me to come when I had asked him to do so. I got here and I
was walking to Jesus, I was grinning and laughing and overwhelmed because I was
walking on water, then the waves and the wind came. I was afraid and in the
midst of my storm I lost sight of Jesus. And sometimes I felt like I was
sinking but Jesus was there immediately pulling me up and asking me why I
continue to doubt Him. I was always frustrated because I felt like I had had huge moments of courage and boldness in my life but I always felt like I was falling hard immediately after.
But I realized that this is not something to be ashamed of
because like Peter I got out of the boat. I had that moment of boldness and yes
I fell but oh the moments of boldness in walking on the water were so worth the
fall. And if I never want to sink then that means never getting out of the boat
but I just don’t see how that is an option. I want those moments of courage and boldness, even if that means I am going to fall hard, even if that means I am going to sink and for a short time I might feel like I am not going to make it. Those moments of sinking are worth it because I got out of the boat.
A lot of people believe Peter ends up being crucified like
Jesus but he requests to be crucified upside down because he didn’t think he
deserved to be crucified like his Savior. His life ended in boldness. He saw so many moments in his life where he had fallen but I am sure that he remembered the moments where he was walking with Jesus, he probably remembered the sight of Jesus as he was walking on the water and knew that in the end the moments of boldness was worth the chance of falling. And I
think I want to live life like Peter until the end, boldly approaching the
throne.
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