Yesterday we celebrated six months of living in South Asia. Our team went out to lunch and while there talked about different things from our time here. We talked about what it would be like if our term had only been six months and we were going home right now. We talked about the funniest moments of these last six months like they happened years ago, including all the times we’ve been lost, all the awkward situations and the time I thought my roommate was a strange man trying to break into our apartment (on the seventh story). Then we talked about how it seemed to go by so fast while at the same time it felt like we were at the airport a lifetime ago.
It’s crazy because I remember the day I left so vividly. I remember praying with my family in my brothers rooms, sobbing as my dad, mom, sisters and brothers prayed about my journey. Kass and Gab prayed like grown women in between tears, I don’t know when they grew into such amazing people. Reyna rubbed all of our backs, Brianna held my hand and we cried together while Jayden prayed that I wouldn’t be too sad about missing Halloween since that’s as far into the future he could think of. Jacob kept sneaking peeks at all of us because I am sure he had no idea why we were crying, no idea that when he woke up his buddy who used to give him piggy back rides and take him on starbucks dates wouldn’t be there for the next two years. I heard my mom and dad pray but couldn’t really process what they were saying because I was so overwhelmed by the moment. It’s a night I will never forget. I stayed up all night long with my best friend and my parents and grandma, we ate ice cream at 3 in the morning, watched law and order and I crocheted one last hat for my brother. Then we drove to the airport and I left. I swear it feels like it was yesterday and ten years ago all at the same time.
I know six months does not seem like that long, and in reality it isn’t, but it is the longest I have ever been away from home and it has been a very long time. Its been six months since I have had root beer or starbucks, its been six months since I’ve held my nephew, six months since I’ve watched law and order with my mom, and six months since I have had in-n-out y’all. But its also been six months of a new life, six months of a new language, six months of new and amazing food, six months of so much laughter, six months of learning, six months of growing, and six months of life with 5 girls in an auto.
If you saw me now I would probably look just the same as when you saw me in October. My hair is longer, my arms are tan while the rest of my body is very white, I still suck at dancing, I love harry potter a little too much still, I talk about my family all the time and I still make stupid joke which most of the time I think are funnier than they really are. But I feel different. These last six months have changed everything. Everything. I feel like my heart and my soul and my mind have changed and it’s amazing and scary all at the same time. Its amazing because I know that its exactly what God intended, the biggest difference I feel is the overwhelming peace. But its also scary because I think about how different I am after six months and can’t imagine what I will look like at the end of these two years. Change is good, growth is good, but for me there always the fear that the change will cause a change in the things in my life that are already too good to be changed, things like my family and my friendship, the anticipation of that change already makes me nervous.
Time is just a funny thing. It can feel so big and so small and it change so much. My brother doesn’t understand time yet so everyday he wakes up and asks if it is tomorrow, well yes and no its yesterdays tomorrow but now its today. And I feel like I finally understand my brother, I wake up to new tomorrow’s but they are flying by and soon all of my tomorrows here in South Asia will be gone, and its all going to have happened so fast and so slow. These six months have flown by and been the best and hardest and longest six months of my life. How is that even possible?
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